Today is always a challenge for me. This date - January 5th, is the day I lost a baby. Its not something a parent forgets, but for me it is exceptionally difficult as it is the day before our wedding anniversary. Its a huge reminder to me of the sadness and emptiness I felt. It's a day when I have an internal battle with myself. So sad to have lost one baby but yet without that loss, Gregory wouldn't be here - a child I love more than anything or anyone else. I know that I can grieve for one while loving another but it is so hard to put into words how it makes me feel like a bad mother to BOTH of these babies.
Today is a challenge. I shall get through it.