Monday, December 10, 2012


I am not sure if it is just this time of year or just my anxious personality coming out and rearing its ugly head. I've been more anxious the past few days than normal; the type of anxious where you have no idea why you are anxious which means you can't "fix" it.
Normally, if I know why I'm feeling anxious I can find a way to be rational about it or at least make a list of things to worry about so I won't forget to worry about them later. For some reason if its on paper, even if I never look at it again, I can push those worries and anxious thoughts aside and move forward.
But these past few days I just can't put my finger on it. I'm overwhelmed by every single thing. Work, home, cleaning, money, my weight, my kid, my home, my spouse... And those are the things that I KNOW I'm overwhelmed with. This anxiety is coming from another part of me that I can't pinpoint.
I'm tired. I'm exhausted, really. I feel on edge. Some days I wonder what my breaking point will be. There are times I know I'm not in a rational mind. Example: Today my leg really hurts. I have no idea why - probably my fibromyalgia flaring up, but in my head I have a massive blood clot that will break apart and kill me. Rational? No. My reality? Yes.
I'm tired. I'm tired of worrying and stress.Today I'm just: tired.

1 comment:

  1. When I thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, I had my first panic attack in the middle of a family dinner. My hands were shaking, my heart was racing, and I really thought I was about to die. This is when I knew I needed to get help.