Thursday, February 2, 2012

Ah, the stress of life.

So things are the same. No better, no worse. I'm in a holding pattern of yucky stressy messiness. I'm not 100% convinced things won't get better because earlier this week I was just SURE things were on the way back up. Alas, reality came and kicked me in the butt. I try to be positive, I do, but it is so freaking hard! WTH... why can't good things come easily to those who are patient and wait and are good people? I'm good people, right?
So I do my best. All I can do is my best. I give my best to my kiddo, which I admit is sometimes better than others, I give my best to my husband - who deserves better than the stress mess I am most of the time lately, and I give everything I can at work and to my family and friends. I give my best. It may not be good enough for some but it is me and I can't be anyone else so I have to just stick with it.
As mentioned, I'm going through a stressful rough patch: The upside to this is I'm surviving. Again, I may not be doing it WELL, but I'm surviving to the best of my abilities and when things get rough all I can ask of myself is to remember to BREATHE and even if it is minute by minute, survive.
By the way I hate "minute to minute" because there are so many days right now where I live minute to minute and minutes can feel like hours and hours feel like days and days feel like weeks and weeks... you get where I'm going here I bet. I am having good minutes and hours and days but I'm also having a lot more rough minutes, hours and days. Gregory is getting the best of me. I make a conscious effort to give him my best because he deserves my full attention and everything I have to give him. He's little and cute and a TON of work and energy but he deserves everything I have.
I read a cute quote the other day that "a two year old is like a blender without a lid". My one year old is like a blender without a lid so I am not sure I want to know what he will be like as a two year old! He's got energy up the wazoo and more to spare. I wish I had 1/5 the energy he does.
So there you go. My latest not greatest update. I'm reminding myself to be kind to myself, give myself time and to breathe. Good things come to those who wait (or to those who wait THE LONGEST and I've been waiting a long time so I think my turn has got to be coming sometime soon).
PS: To the ladies at my regular "group" just want to give you all a HELLO!!!! I miss you and wish I could join in more often. With the drive and my exhaustion it just isn't a safe option for me right now (driving while sleeping isn't advised). I hope you are all well and doing awesome. Hope to see you soon...

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