Tuesday, December 20, 2011

"Thank God the baby is ok!"

Yup. Thank God the baby is ok. I agree with that statement 100%. But, I hear this so often when people hear my story: At least the baby is ok. But you have to remember that the baby being ok doesn't negate my not being ok. The two don't really have anything to do with each other. What happened to me didn't happen to Gregory. What happened to me changed how I see Gregory and how I act towards him some days because he is a trigger for ME. But yes, he is ok and he is thriving and adorable.
This post is mostly for those who know, or will some day know, a mom who has gone through some sort of hell getting her baby here and is traumatized by that experience. Saying "Thank God the baby is ok" doesn't help her feel better. It may actually make her feel worse. Baby's matter. A lot. But mom's matter, too.
A healthy happy mom is one way to a healthy happy baby and supporting a mom to be just that is the best way to make sure that the baby stays ok.
I have to say, in every birth I've heard about since my own experience I walk away from hearing news about the birth saying "Thank God mom and baby are ok.". BOTH need to be ok for a successful birth experience. We put so much focus on the newest, littlest member that we often forget there is another part of the equation. Mom. And for that matter, Dad's, too!


  1. I so totally agree with you. Babies always seem to matter more than mothers and I don't get it. Throughout my second labour, I kept hearing "don't worry, the baby is ok". It made me really mad because I thought they didn't really care whether I lived or died, as long as the baby was ok.

  2. I agree 100%. Moms matter too -we're still people that have feelings and needs and need to be cared for. Sometimes we seem to get lost in the new baby shuffle.

  3. "Baby's matter. A lot. But mom's matter, too." Couldn't have said it better myself. I can't tell you how many times I have heard this since I have had my child. Thanks for your post!-Lauren, peaceoutofpieces.com