There is one person in my life who is always there, is my one constant and who I can turn to at any time and say how horrible I am and exactly what my thoughts are and know that there is no judgement on the other side. There is one person who knows me better than anyone else and who has put up with a LOT over the last year +. Jason.
He was there when we called 911. He sped behind the ambulance to make sure he arrived at the hospital at the same time I did. He held my hand as Roger prayed for me before surgery and cried, scared for my life, before they took me back (we both did). He stood in the hallway just outside the OR they were prepping for me and kept me company while I waited to be wheeled in.
He was there when I woke up from surgery and he took my cellphone (without my permission, mind you!) since I "wouldn't be needing it that night" - I woke up asking for it and was not pleased to find it gone. He brought my cell phone back the next day. He was in the room when I had my PICC line inserted and I remember seeing only his eyes watching me; he is what I focused on when the procedure took what seemed like a lifetime. He listened from just outside the door as I cried out in pain when the next procedure didn't go quite as planned and the pain was too much to bear.
He let me ugly cry and snot all over him when I got home and realized I was in deep trouble. He changed my dressings and followed my demanding instructions of hand washing and re-washing to make sure there was no chance of infection of which I was so afraid. He took me to my appointments to have my staples removed (yes, more than one appointment for so many staples and a wound not wanting to heal). He held back his own pain and struggles while I went through mine. He took care of our son when I could not. To this day he does night feedings when they are demanded and when I say "I need you to be in charge today" he is.
I know a lot of men love their wives but I don't know many who would do the things Jason has done for me or put up with the drama and crap that was our life for so long.
So to Jason - 1 month before our 5 year anniversary, Thank you. You make me a better person and I don't think I could have made it through the last year without you by my side. In fact I know I couldn't have.