Friday, November 25, 2011

Something that's been bothering me

I am going down on some meds which means that I'm starting to dream again. Its a strange experience, dreaming - especially if you've been "dreamless" for as many months as I have.
The other night I dreamed about a time when I was really little (7 maybe?) and was holding my parents' friends baby. I was bouncing back and forth a little and someone said "She's going to be a great mom, she's a natural". That's what I remember from the dream. That small little segment. Anyway, fast forward and I've heard "she's going to be a great mom" or "you're going to make such a great mom someday!" SO many times in my life - I mean, we are talking way before childbearing years here, people.
Those memories and dreams? They bother me. They bother me because I don't feel like I've been "such a great mom" maybe I just haven't reached my the "someday" part of the sentence yet. Maybe someday I'm going to be fabulous but right now I feel lame and like a slacker. I am trying to figure out how other mom's do it and feel productive or how they interact with a super exploring nonstop 1 year old for 11 hours and end the day with a smile. Seriously.
But I'm really hoping that the someday is coming soon. It would be nice to feel like a good mom instead of a yuck mom.

No comments:

Post a Comment