I'm back. I needed just a little time to think and process some things. But to you, the readers, thank you for sticking with me through the crud and the good stuff. This blog is about PPD and PTSD. It's rarely about rainbows and butterflies mainly because depression, anxiety, PTSD...they aren't really awesomely cool, fun, happy and colorful.
Just for clarity's sake, I do not wake up every day and say "Gosh I hope this day sucks!!". Nope, instead I wake up with some anxiety; hoping and praying that this day will be different then most. Some days I'm lucky and some days I'm not.
But, I've realized some things. 1. I am WAY better than I was a year ago. WAY better. 2. I'm not there YET. 3. I do this for me and the handful of mom's who find this blog helpful. Period.
What happened to me is life changing and someday I'll hopefully look back and go "Oh, that's why I had to go through all that". But right now I don't see the good that may come out of this situation. I'm working hard on keeping up with my blog and I'm working HARD to write a book that I know will help people. Even if its just one or two people those people count. They matter.
I know that there are moms who read this blog and it makes them feel better - like someone actually gets it. I appreciate that because I was once that mom searching to no end to find a connection.
Today I've decided to keep going, knowing that I am helping and this crud will end and my book will rock.
And so, if you're looking for rainbows and butterflies, this is probably not the blog for you. If you think I need to "get over it already" NOT THE BLOG FOR YOU.
My break is over. I am back and I'm ready to keep being honest and open about how hard this is, and I will continue to try to help because that is me "the helper".
I can feel your excitement from here :)