Anxiety, along with med changes, is making it difficult. I was up much later than usual last night and my elevator speech went on in my head for about 20 minutes. Its supposed to be 30 seconds maybe a minute. So now I'm working on that little piece plus trying to decide on good distractions for the anxiety about doing this whole fly across the country by myself bit. I'm thinking a few good books should do the trick. Thoughts?
I'm anxious, but I'm not. I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling. I'm worried about stupid stuff: What do I wear? Do I wear it on the plane, just in case we get in late and I don't have time to change? But then I'd be going to the meet and greet smelling like plane stink...What about the fact that I'm a rather shy person and I'm going into a situation where I know no one - what about that??! What if everyone laughs at me for thinking I could write a book? What about the ticks and twitches - will people notice and stare? How do I explain that one?
I'm worried about money, as always. I'm worried about getting my butt to the airport on time without forgetting anything. My worries just go on and on. Its exhausting. I wish I could just say to hell with these worries and get on a plane full of strangers and go to a conference full of strangers... but I can't. I'm trying to work on the worst case scenario, but the worst case scenario isn't an option. I am going. I'm excited to go, I'm just also scared.
This book needs to be written. I need advice from professionals. I need to tell my story. This conference will be extremely helpful for me as I continue this writing journey. I figure that even if I self publish and only ever "sell" or give out 100 copies, if it helps one mom that's awesome. If it only ever helps me - I'll take that too.
What happened to me is something that needs to be processed and the writing is helping me do just that.