I know what you're thinking - that I'm a little slow on the uptake. I'm constantly surprised by what triggers the PTSD and I feel stupid because it's been almost 11 months.
Last week it was the PT (who I really like, by the way) putting her hands on my scars. This week I was thrown for a loop three times. Once when I saw on Facebook that someone was going to the hospital to be induced. The same hospital where I was induced and things went so very wrong.
Then yesterday it was ambulances, again. I really have to get over that one. Helicopters, ambulances, hospital announcements - I have zero control over those. Yesterday I was also thrown off because my kitchen has pretty much stopped being a trigger for me, but nope, out of the blue I was instantly taken back to that night I did laps in the kitchen. In pain. Scared. Helpless. Just writing about it makes my breathing quicken and my eyes water.
I had to walk away from this post because it truly started a small panic attack for me. I'm back now, but it's hard. Every day something new (or old) triggers me. Music, oh the music - and how it haunts me. Today I don't feel strong. I feel like crap. This has to get better. Please TELL ME that it gets BETTER than this. This is not an ok place for me to stay. Emotionally it wears me out. Plus, acting like its all good - that's exhausting.