Thursday, September 29, 2011

Adhesions

So, adhesion's. They suck. That pretty much sums it up right there. I have scar tissue and adhesion's from my belly button down past my c-section scar and past the sides of both hips. Plus, my kiddo loves to jump up and down when you hold him while sitting. He specifically likes to jump on my scars causing horrific seeing spots type of pain.
We are considering surgery to fix the adhesion's, assuming they are wrapped around places they shouldn't be which is why I have so much pain and at the same time, contemplating reconstructive surgery. Better to go in once than twice, right? I have no idea what is going to happen but I'll tell you this much: crying every day in the shower after seeing my scars in the mirror doesn't get any more fun with time.
But do I do a second surgery to fix the botched surgery? Or technically a third surgery to fix the scars from the second surgery which was required because of the first botched surgery? I'm almost positive I want to do this. I want them gone. I know it can be fixed, but major surgery on my abdominal area makes me shaky and sweat a little bit. But then I remind myself that the vertical horribleness of yucky scars could be gone. Forever. And then the shaking stops as does the sweating and I think huh, that may be just what I need to get over this certain part of life. Who knows.
If anyone out there is clairvoyant, send me a message about what my future holds, would ya? Thanks much.

UPDATE: I wrote this post before seeing the first surgeon I have on my schedule to interview. It didn't go very well in my mind and involved a panic attack in the parking lot. I left feeling hopeless and defeated. Not a good feeling to have. I'll update again after I see the next doc in November. Hoping this one doesn't take all of my hopes and goals out of my chest, stomp on them, then hand them back to me broken and ugly. I literally left feeling ugly. I'm pretty sure that is not how its supposed to be.

And on a happier note, G is 11 months old today. That went by fast... and slow. I can't believe his 1st birthday is next month!!

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