Have you seen "What about Bob?" It's pretty much awesome and reminds me of myself just a little bit (minus the fish in a jar around my neck). I'm seriously not THAT bad about leaving home, my kid and my dog (oh yeah, and cat now too), but I am a very anxious traveler. I don't like being away from my comfort zone of home. It's an emotional challenge for me. But, this coming Wednesday is Jason's 30th birthday so I decided we both had not only earned a break after the last 8 months, but that he deserved R&R and some major fun for all he's gone through and put up with.
We left the kid with his Nanalisa one night and his Grammie the next and headed up to Whistler, alone. It was almost like old times. Almost. In the PG stage of life (Pre-Gregory), talks of being in the hospital, driving behind an ambulance in the dark while its inside lights were on so you can see your sick wife as you follow it down the road, and vasectomy's never EVER came up in conversation. Especially the vasectomy part!
But it was really nice to reconnect. It was even nicer to know that the "old us" was still there. Take away the stress of health issues, bills, the house, the dog, the cat, the kid (cute but seriously, he's 8 months old), and the old Jason and Kerissa were back. It was such a great feeling to know that we were still us. Yes, lots of changes. Yes, lots of emotional pain that we are still working through (and for me physical pain as well), but we are still us.
I was hoping to get some writing in this weekend, but we had WAY too much fun for that. The trip included hours and hours of walking around, a few beers for Jason, several Diet Pepsi's for me and one AMAZING Zip Lining experience. I took an extra Klonapin and I was set. I even had the nerve to go upside down and hands free on the last line. I'd love to do it again. It was so great to have a new experience for us as a couple and to do something that Jason really really wanted to do even though I was terrified before the tour started. My real gift to him on his birthday was facing a fear head on - meaning of course, heights.
I also must add that I've always had an adrenaline issue. Adrenaline and I do not get along. As someone who grew up with panic/anxiety from a very young age, I've learned that anything causing adrenaline is really just me asking for a panic attack, hence the pre-zip lining Klonapin. It turns out though that I don't think that I needed it. I can say I genuinely had a great time and would willingly do the longer, higher tour in the future (this tour's longest line was 1100 feet tree to tree and 180 feet above a raging river. The longer tour has a line 2200 feet in length that takes you directly back to Whistler Village and is 300 feet high).
I'm proud of myself for facing a fear. I haven't done that much physical work since Gregory was born and it was nice to say I did it. Jason was also impressed that I was not only willing to try, but that I genuinely had fun. I think zip lining was the best birthday gift I've ever given him.
Anyway, so I didn't get much writing done, but Jas and I did so much talking that I did get in a lot of good thinking about where I want this book to go, my goals, and how I'm going to get there. I'm so excited about this book, even though it's topic is difficult, that I feel frustrated that I can't just sit down and write for a day or more at a time and really get some positive work done. It's hard with my other responsibilities to make this a priority. But healing myself emotionally has to be a priority. Finding myself, getting myself back, has to be a priority for my survival and for my family. I'm working on ways to find time to write where I can be alone and it's quiet. I'll let you know how that goal goes. :)
So that's what I've been up to. Now, on to more writing.